is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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