haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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