My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
