Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Let's paint friendship bongs
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
