He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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