We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize