In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
