Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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