My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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