Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
