am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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