"it" just moved
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
