Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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