HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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