oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
