great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
