So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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