So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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