I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
