im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
