Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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