Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
