He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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