If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
