My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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