Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize