We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
