I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
