Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
