He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
