How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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