Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
