At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
