she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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