People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
