wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
