Yo dont text me then not text me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
