last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
