honey bunches of taint.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
