You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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