So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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