So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
