I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize