barbara walters just said penis...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
