"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
