What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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