I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
