hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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