dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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