im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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