You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
