We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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