Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
