just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
