I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
