I bet he comes in French.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
