I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
