shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
