the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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