You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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