So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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