Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
