5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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